Deacon Green's Cow

Deacon Greene wad a pillar of the Baptisi ehurch at Cross River, !ï. v. and i f there was one thlng more than another thai he prlded himselt upon, H was hls knowledge of Uve stock. He uscii to bonst thai he could teil iiic age ol a liorse or eow half a mlle off. Bu1 he was uaturally dlstrust,.i of human nature, and. would not i,,,-i a minister of the Gospel in a horse trade, or even In a deal ï a eow, .-ind li" iisiKiliy took gome nelghi or u-idi hlm when he wen1 to buy Uve stock, to see tha1 he dld nol get i aken In, for he never Uked to beal a man down, bul would pay whatever price was asked. One morning early he drove over to Dan Knapp's (who by the way, was .'i lioi-sc jockey, and had long be i waiting lor an opportunlty to skin the deaeon) and asked "Dannell" ;,s he called him, U he wonldirt drive over to Salem and look at aome cows, as lic wanted to Imy one if he could iïad one good enough to suiL hlm. "Wall till aexi week," said Dan, "and ril go wiiii you. Come over al oui 8 o'cloek next Frlday morn[ng, and we'll gel an early start." No-w Dan bad an id cow, and Bhe was so ancieni she hadn'1 room any more wrinkles on ber uorns. 8he only gave a quart or two of milk a day, so he had turned her out to fatten, when the Idea gtruck him that he would jusi gel the boys down and ■ iip .or the dëacon. so ihiy worked .'it her every day s long as they Had dayllghi to see, mi t wii they íiled her teeth ofl short ind even, filed up and sand-papered orna, and stuffed her as ful! oí i mi niasii aa cernid hold. lusicic oí o wi-ck tli.-it miserable w looked Hke a I svo-year-old telfer, and all tha1 I Ime Dan had nol nilked her once, and had the aptearance ol a prlze nxllker a1 a eonny fair. Wcll. Frlday mornlng carne, and with it. i)i--in and early, eame the deacon. Oí course "Dannell" wasn't eady .vi had bo milk the cv for the oW vroman. "Wonldn't the dea■ Diii" uní barn?" 01 course he would. "How many cows do yon keep, Dannell?" asked Deacon Gn "Oiil.v one, deacon." "But yovi don'1 meaD to say tha1 ake two pnüs to mllk one co-w '.'" "Oh, yes," replied Dan, "one paü wouldn'1 hold tha1 cow's inilk." The deacon's eyes sparkled with delight and admiration as he beheld slick .-iid plump lm1 Ine. As Dan milked away sv-ith all his miglii nnd I the large pall, se1 it aside and nearly tilled the other, the deacon could hold in no longer, and he anxiously asked: "Dannell, where Uil you eome across tii.-it ar heifer?" "Oh, 1 go1 ter ap in Orange eounty," answered Dan, "Dannell," eald the deacon, "do yon want to sell thai cow ?" "No, deacon; thls cow belongs to the old woman, and 11 l ehould eell her I would aever flare show my [ace 'm the house again." "Well, Dannell, H you were going in geil t Ii.it ar -v, how mucli would yo i . sk her '.'" "Well, deacon, If I was going to seU her, 1 should ask aboul $75 or $80." ■■Dannell." said the deacon, 'Til give you $80 for her, pay the cash DOW, and take her righi along." "Dasn'1 do Lt," responded Dan. "My wiff would kill me ií I sold thai cow." But the (leticon was determlned to have the tow so he raised the offer $8.",; and Dan fcold him th.at i f he wonld take the cow and sneak out Hip back w.iy. and Crawl on his hands and kneea behlnd the stone wall untill lie got out of sighb of the house that he mlght have her. Ct was certain, he addi-d. that the old woman youll never let hlm take her away if Bhe saw hlm. The deacon tollowed instvuctions and Btealthily got away with the cow. Aliout three days aftorward. Dan was down to the vlllage store, where everybody congregates eveninga to hear the neus. and ii BO happened ti,-,i the deacon came in, and seelng Dan there he came over to lüm and said: 'Dannell, what kind of a cow was tha1 yuu sdid me tlie other day ?' "Why ?" asked Dan. "Well," returned Hi' doacon. "I can't fOP the 1HV ol me get over two qnarts oi mllk at once froni her." "Ho-w often do yon mllk lier?" lnnocently asked Dan. '"Why, twicc a day, as other lolka do." "Oh, the duce!" Dan exclaimed. 'You musn't niilk lier bul twlce B week, and you musí 'mash' lier twice ' ; dny; that's the way I do."