To Cause Laughter

E set ablaze the fires of love That smouldered in lier breast, And kindled high the flaming pile With words hls heart confessed. He swore his love had known no birth. Until he saw hei face; 'Twas like the breakíng of a dawn - Infmitude of grace. And thus the flres were kept aflame With fuel oft supplied, But Death made him its shining mark Ere she became a bride. What of the fires then, you ask, That burned so rich and mellow? They were kept burning as bef ore, But by another fellow. Had to Keep Quiet. It was Paddy Kelly who walked into the sick room of Mickey Dolan. Miokey lay there palé, wlth hls eyes closed, and heard Pat exclaim: "Mickey, it's ill ye be lookln'. Fwat's the mather wid ye?" "Do ye know that spalpeen av Widdy O'Brien's second husband?" asked Mickey. "That I do." "He bet me a pound to a pint I couldn't schwaller an Igg widout breakin' the Shell av it." "Did ye do it?" "I did." "Then fwat's ailin' ye?" "It's down there," laying his hand on hls stomach. "If I jump I'll break it and cut me stummick wid the shell. If I kape quiet the thing'll hatch out an' I'll have a Shanghai rooster clawin' mfl insides." - Montreal Star. Willing for the Sacrifico. "I am sorry for you, "Walter," said the kind-hearted surgeon, "but the thumb will have to come off." "My hand won't be of much use, will it, doctor?" inquired Walter, tearfully. "You will have your four fingers left, but you will not be able to grasp anything firmly." "I can't weed the weed garden for mamma, even, can I?" "I am afraid not, my boy." "Cut 'er off, doctor!" - Ex. Proprietary Kights. "I guess my hat's my own! I pald for it!" snapped the young at the matinee, turning round and addressing the two young men who were making audible remarks about her towering head-dress, "and I paid for my seat, too!" "But you didn't pay for all the space between your seat and the ceiling, my dear young lady," mildly observed the eider of the two men. - Chicago Tribune. A Strategie Move. "I was in the theater when your play was brought out for the flrst time." "You were there, were you?" "Yes, and I saw you there, too. Everybody was yawning, and to my astonishment you yawned, too, with the rest." "I had to yawn. If I hadn't somebody would have suspected me of being the author." An l'iikind Reraark. Mr. Murray Hill - Allow me to congratúlate you on your marriage. Tour wife is certainly a most charming lady. Mr. Uglymug - Yes, and she Is as amiable as she is lovely. And she is eo considérate. She's willing to put up with almost anything. Mr. Murray Hill- Tes, I knew that when I heard that she had married you. -Texas Siftings. He Discrimlnated. Upson Downes - Say, oíd man, I need $10 badly. Wither Tymes (handing him bill)- Here you are. Upson Downes- I said I needed ten, old man. Wither Tymes - I heard you. Upson Downes- But you've only glven me flve. Wither Tymes - Well, you see, I only believe half I hear. An Impudent Thing. t Mrs. Noshape - There, you careless creature, you have dropped that beautlïul statue of Venus and broken it all to pieces. Bridget - Well, mum, you ought to be glad av it. Sized up alongside of Vaynus your figure was at considerable disadvantage. And now Mrs. Noshape has advertisea f or a new servant that is respectf ui and well-behaved. No Irish need apply.- Texas Siftings. What He Needed. Gus De Smlth - Tou have very large ears. Gilhooly - Tes, my ears are large. All I lack now to be a perfect ass ia youi brains.