Facetia From The Adrian Press

Mrs. Garlick, of Ypsilanti, caused the arrest of D. O'Brien for assault aöd battery, but the oase was dismissed. Soine people love garlicks aiid otliers do not. Daniel does not. Jerome Bates, of Batavia, last week dug a Spanish coin from his garden. It bore date of 173!). It was probably lost by Carlos III, as bis name was on it. John Harris, colored, who a year ago started the small pox at Ypsilanti, but recovered and was discharged, has had a relapse. Just been arrested for adultery. Gold rings have recently been pawned at Cold water for one dollar each. They cost the poor fellow who pawned them 25 cents a dozen ; and still there are they who oppose the doctrine "16 to 1." Dr. O. R. Long, of Ionia, refuses the homeopathie deanship ín the University , and says he wishes to give his attention to criminal insanity. ïhen why don't he accept the deanship? By a rising vote of the Sharon Center church, the young men of that place will be requested to hereafter desist from playing ball on Sunday. In these courteous days, even the devil is treated with a great deal of politeness. The Hon. George A. Sub-Treasury Peters, the populist sage of Scio, exclaimed a month ago, with a sigh, O, that wheat would yield only seven bushels to the acre. It is turning out ten to fifteen bushels to the acre. Mr. Peters is an excellent farmer, a kind father, an indulgent husband, a poor prophet and a worse politician. The water in Grass Lake is so low that pickerel and black bass parry the heat by twisting their tails up over their heads for sun shades. It beats the dickens how muefa a flsh knows when it comes right down to business ! - Grass Lake Xews. We hate to impugn the veracity of a brother, but we solemnly believe the above is a lie. A man wentinto an Ypsilanti barber shop the other day, all out of breath and said he'd give $5 to be shaved in a minute. Instantly he was knocked down into the operating chair, a towel driven down his shirt collar with a mallet and eold chisel, and two barbéis then sprung upon him and had him shaved, wiped, corabed and cologned witli the 16th of a second yet unspent - a "mighty close shave." He paid. A girl at Massillon, Ohlo, died in terrible agony one week after a spider had disappeared in her ear. A Newark, N. .1., child, born with twelve fingers, twelve toes and a doublé palato, lived on!y a few hours. One of Síihweinfurth's disciples at Lexlngton, Ky., hit ofC the head of z. Uve blacksnake tn win'a wager of $60. A New York pollceman recognized In two thieves he had arrested schoolmates he hatl not seen in thirty years. Ughtning struck a walI near Winchester, Ky., and since then the hole In the ground has been as dry as a Tjurnmy. Divorce came to a Kansas City couple as the result of a quarrel over the size ■){ angleworms their canary blrd should