Quaint And Comical

Won't somebody please bnild a drinking fountain for the Ann Arbor Democrat's "ManAbout Town?" She is awfully thirsty. Crime is beginning to be punished as it ought to be. In Branch county, a man was fined $13 for misusing a dog, and an Ann Arbor man had to pay f2 for whipping bis wife. It bas been discovered at the university that tbe longitudinal measurement of a diphtheria bacillus is one 25-1000tb of an inch long. Wooh ! what a critter to meet in the night ! Smith, of Milan, bas invented a wire gate of great excellence. The Press is willing to note inventions free of charge, bat not the inventora, and does not think it. bas done so in tbis case. Frank Shannon, of Dundee, last Satnrday flred flve bullets at his motberin-law, missing her every time. Mother-in-law took her "base on balls" and Shannon was arrested for his notorioua mismarksmanship. Kegardless of sex or bloomers, school teachers who attended the summer Normal are registering elevated kicks. They had expected an improvement in their grades of certificates, and are now told that anytbing above the third grade is illegal. A black cloud in a whirl, carrying with it dust, and we have no doubt flsh and cranberries, according to the custom this year. frightened Chelsea people into repenting of their sins last week. Xo damage happened however and all feil from grace in less than hall an hour. Sunday bathing has received a se back at Whitmore Lake. The Ann Arbor Courier says : "George II. Win slow's six-year-okl boy cut his foot ven badly Sunday, while wading in the water. An artery was cut and the little fellow ncarly bied to death." "Where is the money of the country ?' screams a financial exchange. Biest if we know, but to (?lear us of suspicion, we will state tliat a Webster man with 21 children has been caught saying that he was going to take the "huil fam'ly and his grandmother to the Washternaw fair." What is virtually the "curfew" ordinance, may be passed at Ann Arbor. An ordinance is offered, to restrain boys under 10 f rom running about the streets after S o'clock, standard time. Happy woulditbeif the "curfew" ordinance could be slapped to some of those boy's dads ! The editor of the Chelea Herald after being a helpless spectator of the aviility with wliich people of the town were hooked in the other day, by a street fakir, bas exchanged his skepticism for a two-handed clinch on the rule that, "thattliere is a sucker born evcry day." Yea, and sometimos twins. Wasbtenuw county fair opens Sept 24. The prepartions being made for it are on a very grand scale, and are attracting mach attention. It appears to be t he a'mbition of tlie management to rival or eclipse the aelebrated Ilillsdale and Lenawee fairs. To that end a series of attractions, varied and expensive are booked for the various days. The people of the county are also getting a great number of exhibita ready, and talk of the coming fair as though it were a world's exposition. At the Whitmore Lake farmers picnic Hon. Geo. A.' Peters said: "We work too mnch, raise too mucli, and do not talk enough." "Talk!" Ave - there's the rul). Mr. Peters, everybody knows to be a blushing bashful bi-metalist, for silver only, whose great grief is his lack of oral communication. Yet, if secretary Mills of the Washtenaw fair association belives that man cannot talk a blister on a prize buli's forebead, clear across the fair ground, let him hani; up $50 purse and see how quick Peters will win it. P. S. - Hang up silver - he won't talk for gold.