Stories About Men

Theodore Tilton was about to lecture at a well known hall in Maino. He arrived at the door unattended, aud lnquired for the manager. He was informed that he was within, but could not be distuibed, as the lecture was about to commence. "Can I go in and speak tohim? " liehumbly asked of the highly important ticket taker. "Yes, if you have got half a dollar." Tilton produced the coin and passed into tha hall to listen to his own lectora. He en juyed the joke mueh, and said it was a good lecture and well worth the price of admia sion. - Fairfield Journal. Grant's Sorrel War Horse. "The first time I saw Gen. Grant to know him," said Maj. Osmun to a knot of story tellers, the other day, "was in the November of 18ftt I was then attached to Hancock's headquarters, and was sent to earry a dispatch to Gen. Grant. It was raining for all it was worth, and the mud about those Petersburg trenches was like glue. Putting my horse to a gallop, I was getting over the ground at a good rate, and soon I met an'i passed a solitary rider astride a little sorrel horse. The man's slouch hat was pulled down over his eyes, and the rain was coursIng in streams down on the poncho in whieh he was closely wrapped. A moment later I carne up with quite a group of riders, and catching sight of a lot of gold braid, jumped at the conclusión that I had struck some Eeneral's staff. I asked if t'hey knew where Gen. Grant was, and one of them said : "Why, boy, you've jusfc passed him. ' "Without a word I wheeled my horse and dashed back to the solitary figure aheail. A3 I came up he seemed to take in the situation, for he said sharply: " 'Who are you looking for, young manP " 'Are you Gen. Grant I' I asked eagerly. " 'My name's Grant,' he said stiffiy, holding out his hand for my dispatch. Then he eaid: " 'Why diun't you come to me at once?' " 'i-í' - " 'Well, whati' " 'I didnt think you were Gen. Graut.' " 'You didnt! Why didn't you'i' "I saw his eyes twinkle above his eigar, that must have go&e out three or four weeks before, it looked so bad. So I ventured to teil the f act: " 'Because I didn't supposo Gen. Grant TFOuld ride such a looking horse as that.' "He burst out into a hearty laugh, and Gen. Badeau told me afterward that it was the first time for a week he had heard Grant laugh. The general receipted on the euvelope for the dispatch and dismissed me, saying: " 'The next time you are sent to Gen. Grant perhaps you wiü know him.' "But alter that I took my dispatclies to the chief of stafï."- Detroit Journal. A Joke on Burleigh. A story is told in the corridors of the Delavan wliicli is "on" Hon. Henry G. Burleigh, of Whitehall. He was seated on a sofa not long ngo talking with Railroad Commissioner Baker, when a well dressed young man stepped up to the telegraph desk and began writing a dispatch, "See here, Burleigh," reniarked Mr. Baker, suddenly, "I want to makea littie bet with you." The surrounding politicians pricked up their eais. "What aboutr' asked the Whitehall wizard, curiously. "About asure tbing, of oourse," was thO reply. "Do you see that young man at the telegraph desk and the nice seul skin gloves beside him ? I want to bet you that he walks off when he lias finished his business and forgets to take those gloves." "Nonsense," was the sage rejoinder. "He wouldn't forget anything so valuable." After a few minutes chaffing the bet was made and the surrounding group drew nearer to watch the result. Mr. Burleigh looked skeptical and Mr. Baker contented. Finally the stranger buttoned his coat and turned to go, but he left the gloves. "Hold on," shouted Mr. Burleigh after the retreating stranger, "you have forgotten" "Sit down, Burleigh," said Mr. Baker calmly, "sit down. Those are my gloves." Then the watching multitude smiled a moist, odorous smile, and the bet was paid.- Albany Express. "Whar Dat Veal'.'" Senator Laraar is reported telling the following s'.ury of his experience at a politica! meeting In his own state soon after the war. He was ono of the speakers, and alluding to the civil war, suggested as a parallel case the parable of tue l'rodigal Son and the joyful receptiou at his home when tho naughty boy retornad. Ho was succeeded by a negro, a Itepublican, who, aíter some general remarks, paid lus respect to Lamar's parallel. "Forgiben!" .vml he. "Dey forgiben- dem brigadiers! Why, dey'ae come walkiu' into de house au' bang de do' an' go up to de ol' man an'say: 'V har dat