Very Sarcastic

Editor Kegistkr:- I noticed in your last paper thatsomeone, signingbimsel " Republican," gi ves eight indiatinct and plural reasons why lie will not vote fo Mr. Alien for Congress. That "Kepub lican" lias iny sympathy, and I shal endeavor togiveyou eight more reason why I sliall not vote for him. They ar as follows : 1. I am a kicker. 2. I have been disappointed in se curing an office for myself. o. I am a mnch bigger man that Mr Allen, mentally, if not physically (11 my own estimation), and as far as that is concernid, I am " a bigger man than oíd G ant." 4. My jealousy of Allen is rnuch greater than my love for rcpublican principies. 5. I want to go to Congress rnyself, by-and-by, and I want Allen out of the way. (If I get there, the third term will not be so much of an objection to me as it is now.) 6. I am a " danged-sight" smarter mitn than Allen ever thought of being, therefore it is time for him to step down and out. If I had been congressman, I could have made all appointments to office in the district in such a suave and ch arm ing manner that the fellows who did not get there would have come fawning around me like "sucking doves," and fought to caress the hand that withheld from them the sweet political plums, thus saving the party much tribulation among such fellows as I am,whoarerepublicansfor revenue only. 7. I never was a soldier and Allen was, and "I do not believe that old soldiers should have everything." 8. Allen has not provided offices enough to go around. A fatal mistake. To be sure Mr. Allen has represented my principies in Congress; he has always voted right; he has manfully stood up for the rights of all the people, whether white or black ; he bas helped to strengthen the wise and grand poücy of protectijn to American labor and American industries; he made a very good speech (for him) on that important measure, the federal election bill ; he has always attended to business enIrusted to him, and he has always been present in his seat to help make a quorum, so that the business of the nation might proceed. I know all theso things, and also know that if Mr. Gorman, his opponent, is elected, he will be obliged to herd and vote with my political enemies, the solid South brigadiers ; I know ne will be as susceptible to shining arguments in 'Syaslnngton as he was said to have been in Lansing; I known he will stand with his party in opposing all friendly legisltion for the old soldiers; I know he will vote lor free raw materials, free wool, free trade, and free everything alnaost, except a free ballot and fair count; but then, all that does not outweigh my personal feelings in this matter. I shall not vote for Mr. Allen. In fact, I never did vote for Mr. Allen- neither has my son. Gorman can depend upon me if the lunatic asylum does not get me before election day. Yours for Allen's scalp,