Flashes Of Fun

He- Weil, your sister ig married. Now it's your turn. She - Oh, George! ask papa. - New York Journal. Tourist- Are we near the t'alls?" Guide - Yes, sir. As soon as the ladies stop talking you can hear the roar. - Town Topics. "I don't sen your mistletoe," said he glancing up at the chandelier. "Is it really necessary?" replied she archly It wasn't. - Judge. "Is your picture in the academy a succes3?" "That's what I am wondering. Someone said it was wortb the price of admission."- Punch. The English language must he tough, At least, íhat's what I've reckoned, For it is still 'tlive to-day Though murdered every second. He- Jones la all right, I suppose, but he and I do not like eacli other ?, bit. She- Well, that is much to the credit of both of you. - Cincínnati Enquirer. Dabney - Glíbney started on a cejrtury run to-day. Babley- Where has he gone? Dabney- After the fellow who stole his wheel.- Roxbury Gazette. Cedric- Are you going to hang up your stoeking Christmas eve, Tommy? Tommy- No; I've got enough f eet I'm goiny to hang up my pocket. - Round Table. Amateur Humoríst- That's a pretty good joko of mine; doirt you think so? Experienoed Editor- Well, it is just as funny now as it ever was.- Sommerville Journal. Robert - When I get into my new house I mean that everything shall go like clockwork. Richard- I see; the same as heretofore; tick, tick.- Boston Transcript. "Jack has to do sil of Julia's Christmas shopping.'"Why is that?" "When she buys pretty things herself she never has the courage to give them away." -Chicago Tribune. "Hit am er mistake," said Únele Eben, "ter hab yoh me'ry Christmas in sech a way dat yoh can't hab er happy New Year, case ob de worry 'bout de bilis." - Washington Star. To buy these things the lass so jolly Now to the Christmas mart doth go- A quarter's worth of shining holly; Four dollars' worth of mistletoe. - Washington Star, Bobbyir-Is oxygen what the oxen breathe all day? Papa- Of course, and what everything else breathes. Bobby - And is nitrogen what everyone breathes at aight?-