Aftemus Ward once asked astranger in Toledo: "Say, friend, can you teil me where I can get a square meal for a quarter?" "Oh, yes," said the man addressed ; "right over across the street." "Hold on," said Artemus, as the other turned to walk on; "one more question : Can you teil me where I can get the quarter?" Mr. Ward, on the lookout for his breakfast, was very much in the position of the grand old party. She would like to make a square meal off the labor vote. "Doesn't the tariff make wages higher in this country than they are in free trade England?" shrieks the old lady. "Oh, yes," respond the ready reckoners; "wages in' this country are doublé the amount of British wages.'' "One thing more, you rascáis! Can you find me any blooming idiot who will believe that the tariff makes the difference?" There is no report of what answer Artemus got to his last inquiry from the citizen of Toledo; but esteemed contemporaries are on the diligent lookout tor the blooming idiots who will believe that high wages and low wages depend upon the tax rate. There are high wages in New York and low wages in North Carolina, both states enjoying the same benignant rates of custom-house taxation. There are high wages paid in Kensington and low wages paid for the same work in Fall River. There are high wages in some parts of the United States and low wages in some parts of England - the United States having a protective tariff and England a revenue tariff. The rate of wages is higher in England than in Germany or France or Russia, although the labor of the three latter countries is highly "protected." Again, the rate Of wages is higher in Australia than in the United States, although Australia is blessed with a multiformity of tariffs, both high and low. By what corkscrewing method of reasoning do they expect to so put their readers asleep that they shall overlook these notorious facts? Any chit big enough to go to school knowá that a three-cent apple is dearer than a two-cent apple. It does not require a greater breadth of intellect to understand that the only way in which tariffs affect wages is in the extent of their influence in raising or lowering the cost of living.